3 Things I Learned at Mission Arlington

Every summer my youth group goes to Mission Arlington in Arlington, Texas to participate in their Rainbow Express program for kids. We are split up into groups and each morning and afternoon we go to an apartment complex to do a VBS style bible study with the kids in the complex. We go to the same complexes each morning and afternoon for 4 days. Texas in June is generally HOT and you are sweaty, and tired, and kids are running around and often not listening to a word you say. This trip is always a patience tester, but it is always without fail a blast! And without fail, God always uses this trip to show me something new. This year I learned 3 things at Mission Arlington....

1. God often chooses to use those you least expect. 

There is always that one kid in your group. You know the one I'm talking about... the one that tests your patience and pushes your buttons. The one that you think will be more of a hindrance than a help. The one that you just hope and pray doesn't do anything crazy while you're trying to share the gospel with the kids.

That one kid in my group was also the same kid who, on the very first day, was in the middle of 5 kids with his Bible in his lap, sharing the good news of Christ, without any suggestion from the group leaders. I was blown away by his initiative, courage, and intention. And I was convicted of the judgmental perspective that so easily blinds me to the incredible power of the Holy Spirit in believers.

It is all too easy for me to limit someone's potential based on their personality, skills, or abilities. I quickly forget that sharing the gospel has nothing to do with any of those things. Sharing the gospel is about boldly obeying the call we have received and trusting The Holy Spirit to work through us. The gospel is always about God's abilities and not yours. In fact, God often chooses to use those who seem to lack needed abilities just to demonstrate His own power and ability. Take Moses for example in Exodus 4:10-12 
Moses said to the Lord, “Pardon your servant, Lord. I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.” The Lord said to him, “Who gave human beings their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute? Who gives them sight or makes them blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.”

I was surprised to see "that one kid" sharing the gospel so boldly, but I should never be surprised when The Spirit is at work.

2. My entire life is a full picture of God's grace. 

Generally, when I think of God's grace, I think of my salvation: the moment when He opened my eyes to His perfect sacrifice and forgiveness for my transgressions. But this is not the only example of God's grace in my life. The truth is that every moment of my entire life is a picture of His grace. It is only by His grace that I have the parents I have, that I grew up in my particular state, city, neighborhood, and house, that I have the friends I have, that I was never exposed to drugs until I was old enough to know I definitely didn't want them, that I own everything I do, that I have the job I have. God's hand has been in my life in every single aspect and it is by His grace that my life is what it is. That I am who I am.

One of the apartment complexes we were at had a particularly rowdy bunch of kids. I have never seen kids behave so violently. Almost all of their interactions were laced with violence. It was normal. It was all they knew. On top of this, it was clear that most of their parents did not care where they were, who they were with, or what they were doing. They ran free of any responsibility or authority. Many of them probably experienced violence at home and it simply carried over into the rest of their world. This could have been my life.

God doesn't owe me a good, happy, easy life. God owes me nothing. So every single part of my life is simply a gift that demonstrates His incredible love and grace.

3. Is it safe is not the question you should be asking.  

One morning at Mission Arlington, the man who leads our devotional time said "Is is it safe? I don't really care. The real question is: is God worthy?" I have never really felt unsafe while doing anything in ministry, but often I hold back from God's calling with questions like is it comfortable? Is it easy? Is it convenient? The answer to these questions should never stop me from doing anything God asks, because the question I should be asking is: Is God worthy? And the answer to that question is always YES!

Jesus did not say, "Come follow me, and your life will be safe, easy, convenient, and comfortable." He said  “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it." 

Deny yourself? Take up your cross? That does not sound like an easy and comfortable life to me. But this is the only life that leads to REAL life. Eternal life. You must loose your life (by surrendering it to Christ) in order to save your life (spending eternity with God in Heaven).

Christ is worthy, and He is the only thing that gives us any real meaning or purpose in life.

Game time fun!

Silly Girls!

Small Group Time

Taking shelter in the rain for small group

A Letter For My Dad

Dear Dad,

The older I get, the more I can see the influence you’ve had on my life and value of the lessons you’ve taught me. Things, that as a child seemed unfair, are now exactly what I needed to be who I am. I can see how every decision was made out of love with my good in mind. Your love for me is a reflection of the Father’s love for all His children, and I could not ask for a better picture. I would not be the woman I am today, if you were not the father you are. I just wanted to say thank you.

Thank you for not giving me everything I wanted.

Thank you for teaching me the value of hard work and earning money.

Thank you for loving me enough to tell me when my dress was too short.

Thank you for spanking me.

Thank you for making me clean my room and take responsibilities for other chores.

Thank you for being a spiritual leader to our family.

Thank you for loving God first.

Thank you for working so hard and providing for us.

Thank you for setting the bar for all other men in my life.

Thank you for teaching me how to play softball and spending hours outside practicing with me.

Thank you for spending ever Saturday of my childhood with us.

Thank you for all the camping trips, ski trips, and family vacations.

Thank you for raising me to say, “please,” “thank you,” “yes sir,” “yes ma’am,” “Mr.,” and “Mrs.”

Thank you for establishing a vision and mission for our family and making family values a priority.

Thank you for showing me what it looks like to serve others.

Thank you for teaching me that giving generously is far greater than living in wealth.

Thank you for all the special nights out and father-daughter dates.

Thank you for not giving up on my stubborn will, but persistently disciplining me.

Thank you for loving me through all my mistakes.

Thank you for encouraging me in my walk with the Lord.

Thank you for supporting me through life and guiding me through important decisions.

Thank you for investing in me.

I love you and I’m so thankful to have you as my father.

Your favorite daughter,

Lauren

Are You A Bucket Filler?

I recently read a book to a four-year old girl I babysit, and it changed my life. The book is titled Have You Filled a Bucket Today. The book explains that every single person carries around an invisible bucket and that bucket has one purpose: to hold our good feelings about ourselves. If someone's bucket is full, they are happy. If someone's bucket is empty... you guessed it! They are sad. The book also explains that you can be a "bucket filler" by saying and doing nice things to people of a "bucket dipper" by saying and doing mean things.

Simple concept right. Life changing?? Why yes, yes it is.

We have all heard the sayings "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." "Treat others as you want to be treated." blah blah blah. We all know that we should be kind and encouraging. But do we live it out? This is definitely an area that I have struggled with, and this book changed my perspective. But it wasn't just the book....

A few days after I read this book to my little friend, I stayed an extra half hour to play with her (she is normally at school while I babysit her brother so we don't get to play much). Her mom sent me a text later that night telling me that her daughter had told her, "When Miss Lauren stayed to play with me, she filled my bucket." This impacted me in a way I never expected. I suddenly realized that every action and word impacts those around me.

Often, I just float through the day completing tasks, checking things off my to-do list, having conversations, just getting through. Rarely do I intentionally consider and encourage those around me. Too often, my actions and words are thoughtless reactions to my situation and my feelings. I am motivated by things I enjoy and that will make me feel good, not by how others will feel. If I'm going to be a bucket filler, I'm going to have to start actively pursuing positive and encouraging things to say and do, and actively stop negative thoughts and reactions. At the end of the day, I want my bucket to be full but I also want all the buckets around me to be full!

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. - Hebrews 10:24

What is your favorite way to "fill someone's bucket?"

Thanksgiving 5 Months Early

About a month and a half ago I was rear-ended while waiting to turn left into a gas station. No one was hurt and my car was drive-able. A couple of days later, my car randomly dies because there is something wrong with the battery. When our mechanic looked at it, it was working just fine and he couldn't find a problem with my battery or my alternator. Of course. In the meantime, I have been talking to the insurance company and trying to arrange an adjuster to come out and look at my car so that I can get it repaired. Finally, a month and a half later, we get it all worked out.

3 weeks ago, I bought a new car. Not a brand new car, but a very nice used car. This is the first car that I've ever paid for all by myself. I had been saving up for a long time to get a reliable car with low miles and I was beyond ecstatic to finally own this car! The first week of owning this car I was out of town, so I have only been driving it for two weeks.

Yesterday, I was running errands for work and as I was driving down a 3 lane road (in the far right lane), a guy in the middle lane (to my left) suddenly decided he needed to turn right and proceeded to hit me and run me off the road into a parking lot and on my way I ran over two parking blocks. He gets out of his car and says, "I'm so sorry, I didn't see you." Well that was obvious. I call the police and an officer arrives and asks me what happened. I tell him. He goes and talks to the other driver. He gets in his car and acts like hes doing a lot of hard work. Not sure that he was doing anything at all. He gets back out and talks to the other driver again. Then he comes over and asks me to tell him again what happened. I did. He tells me that the other driver has a different story. A completely different story, in which I hit him.... you can imagine my anger/disgust/frustration/irritation/shock/disbelief. This was my new car this guy ruined and now he's trying to blame this accident on me??? Was he kidding??? Apparently he wasn't, and apparently the officer could not put 2 and 2 together, because despite the fact that according to the damage on our cars, the other driver's story was completely impossible, he said he "could not determine who was at fault and the insurance companies would have to fight it out." He also told me that I did not need to be upset because the other car had more damage then mine and "they can probably just buff that out" (referring to dent/scrape all across the driver's side of my car). The officer gives me the other driver's name and insurance number on the torn off corner of a yellow pad and tells me I'm free to go. Upon calling the insurance company, I learn that the guy who hit me and ran me off the road and then lied about it, does NOT have insurance. So much for the insurance companies fighting this out.

This incident left me in a sour and angry mood ALL DAY. I was absolutely livid at the injustice that was done to me. I don't know if you have experienced being angry all day or not, but let me tell you, it is exhausting! EXHAUSTING! I had a headache all day and I was so tired. All I wanted to do was go to bed and cry. Since that was not an option I decided to go to Chili's and get a diet coke and a chocolate chip skillet cookie. It helped a little.

All day I kept thinking that I shouldn't be so angry. I needed to let it go, but I just could not stop feeling upset about the whole situation.

I woke up this morning thinking it's a new day. Everything will get worked out. It's just a car. Even if it is my new car that I worked really hard for and love very much. Even if the guy who hit me deserved a ticket for hitting me as well as a ticket for having no insurance, and also a public flogging for lying to me and a policeman. Even though the police officer was unhelpful and unprofessional. It will all be ok. I am alive and I should be thankful. Well....

This morning, I am driving to work. I take the exit for NW Expressway from Hefner Parkway and I am in the yield lane waiting until it is clear to get on the expressway. I feel someone bump into me. Is this real life?? Did that just happen?? Yes. It did. I get out of my car to check and see if there is damage so that I can make sure the nice lady who hit me knows that I know so she will follow me into the nearest parking lot so we don't hold up all the traffic. To my surprise, this nice lady has rolled down her window and proceeds to scream at me, "I DID NOT TOUCH YOU!" I gently respond, "I am just making sure there's no damage (thankfully there wasn't any)." And she yells, "WHY DON'T YOU MOVE YOUR CAR AND GET OUT OF THE WAY." What do I even say to this outburst of rage from a woman who hit me? Nothing. I say nothing. I get in my car and suddenly the anger from yesterday is back in it's full glory, ready to ruin another day. Grr.

It takes me a total of 3 minutes to arrive at my office and then I had time to sit and think. I was trying really hard not to continue to be angry when I had a thought. I say "I had a thought" but really I think The Lord gave me this thought. I have so much to be thankful for. I have SO much to be thankful for. I have SO MUCH to be THANKFUL for!!! So I decided that in the midst of all this craziness, I should focus on the things I am thankful for. So I'm having Thanksgiving 5 months early and I have made a list of things that I am thankful for.

1. The Lord- His Grace is sufficient for me. He is great, He is good, and He is sovereign.
2. My family- my parents are incredible and always so supportive. My siblings are some of my best friends.
3. My funny friends- I have THE BEST FRIENDS ever. Always so supportive and encouraging, and the hilarious conversations I have with them will always be a blessing.
4. My jobs- I am so blessed to have two amazing jobs that I love, and I have the best bosses and co-workers!
5. My church and all the incredible people who go there
6. My mentor- what an incredible woman she is and always giving me the support and encouragement I need.
7. My bed- I love to sleep. A lot.
8. Pookie- THE BEST TEDDY BEAR EVER!
9. Cupcakes- yum
10. The ability to laugh- seriously, what would I do if I couldn't laugh? Being able to laugh at myself is such a blessing.
11. The ability to cry- sometimes you just have to let it all out, and I'm thankful I can do this.
12. Toilets- no explanation needed.
13. The heater in my office that keeps me from getting frostbite!
14. Despicable Me-  specifically Steve Carell
15. Facebook and Instagram for allowing me to creep on people without their knowledge! :)

In closing, I thought it would be appropriate to share part of one of my favorite songs.

"You are more, You are more
Than my words will ever say
You are Lord, You are Lord
All creation will proclaim
You are here, You are here
In Your presence I'm made whole
You are God, You are God
Of all else I'm letting Go."

I hope that when you are experiencing troubling times, you can still find things in your life to be thankful for. I know I always will.

Confessions of a Control Freak

    This may come to a surprise to you (NOT), but I am a complete control freak. If I lived in a perfect world, everything would be planned by me and everything would go according to the plan. I would also like to be able to predict the future so that I can face each moment confidently knowing that I have prepared for each detail of the day. I hope I don't sound too crazy right now.

    Fortunately for me, the one who does control the world is God, and everything goes according to His plan... I just never know what it is. This whole planning, controlling, predicting the future thing has been a sort of theme in my life. Trusting God completely and resting in Him with the knowledge that He has better plans for me than I could ever have for myself has always been in my head, but not so much in my heart. [^"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11-13] My heart has held onto the need to control my environment, my calendar, my relationships, and my life because I find security in control.

    Here's the tricky thing about being a control freak. On the outside you look pretty good. I am very organized and punctual. I have good time management skills and I am very good at prioritizing. I maintained a 4.0 in high school and college. None of these are bad things. But when I evaluate the motive behind my actions, qualities, and characteristics, I find something dark. Control gives me comfort and security. I know that I cannot control everything, so I control the small things. But in reality those small things control me.

    True comfort and true security come from Christ. It is through Him alone that I can be secure in my future, and comfort flows out of Him and into me. 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 says, " Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.  For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ." There are numerous passages from the Bible that explain and demonstrate the security we have in Christ.
Psalm 55: 22 Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.
Psalm 73: 26 My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
Psalm 46: 1-2 God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea.
John 14: 27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
1 Peter 5: 6-7 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.    

    Over the last year and a half or so God has shaken up my life and revealed Himself in ways that have finally gotten me to understand this truth. I have finally begun to release the control that I foolishly believed I had on my life, and God has changed my life in huge ways. I want to share all these changes, but that would make for the world's longest blog so I will have to split it up and share them individually. The more I examine my heart, the more areas I see that God has changed and is changing, so who knows how long this might continue! Just a sneak peak at a few of the things God has changed: I quit my job after 7 years and now have a job I never considered having, I work at a camp I never thought I would work at, my "great career plan" is now unknown, I have changed churches AGAIN, my relationship with my brother has been restored, I am the President of my sorority, I have less stress now than ever before, and I'm still single (yes, I know that is not a change, but it is relevant. I promise.).

Sails and Anchors

I recently spoke with a friend and she shared with me the idea that everyone is either a sail or an anchor. Some people make plans and some people fly by the seat of their pants.... I am a planner. I am an anchor. Even when I want to do something adventurous, I make sure to plan it out. But this Spring Break, I learned a little something about being an anchor. I learned that it's ok to just set sail.

My friend Brette and I decided to go hiking in the Wichita Mountains for Spring Break. A nice mini road trip to the mountains for an afternoon of hiking with a meal at Meer's to top it off was the perfect plan! We invited some friends to join us and our little group of six made our way to the Wichita Mountains around 3:00 in the afternoon. We stopped at the visitor's center to talk to someone familiar with the trails and get a good idea about where were going and what we wanted to see. After another short drive to the beginning of the trail, we took off up the mountain. Nate, who had been camping there that weekend, led us at a brisk pace up the mountain. The trail felt like a massive stair case, and I soon became winded, but we all pressed on enjoying the beautiful day and the gorgeous scenery. Being in the wilderness made us think of The Hunger Games (if you haven't read the books DO IT TODAY!!) and our conversation circled around the books and the movie. This mostly consisted of me trying to convince Nate and Ryan that Peeta is better than Gale... I did not succeed in swaying their opinion, but it certainly was not for lack of trying.

Brette and I taking a break! :)

Once we got to the top of the mountain, the guys wanted to climb up on some of the boulders and we soon left the trail behind us to explore the area.

Ryan and Nate

The Girls!

After climbing numerous boulders and wandering quite a ways from the trail, we decided to head back to the trail and continue on in hopes of finding a waterfall that my dad told me about. Well.... we had a difficult time finding the trail. We followed some kids around until we made it back to what we thought was the trail we took, but after a ways we hit a dead end. And another dead end. And another dead end. We continued walking in circles, trying to find our way back, laughing and joking about Peeta and Gale the whole way. We finally came to one side of the mountain where we could see the trail, the parking lot, and even our cars below us! So all we needed to do was get down the mountain... easier said than done! On this particular area of the mountain, there was no trail or path. It was pretty steep, and we were pretty high up. By this point, we all just wanted to get down to the bottom and get some burgers at Meers, so the guys went first and decided that it was doable, and Brette, Bethany, Jessica and I quickly followed them down. 

Me and Brette, going rouge!

Bethany, Jessica, and Ryan ended up on the right side, while Nate, Brette and I were on the left. After making it about halfway down, it became apparent that this was not the easiest path to take. I ended up slipping and sliding down part of the mountain, and Brette slid on purpose because there weren't many options. This resulted in some scraping of the arms but no serious injuries :). Once we made it down to the ground, we had to go through a little forest to get to the trail. From up above, this didn't look like it would be too hard, but once on the ground we could see that the trees were pretty short and they grew out instead of up.... if the trees were people and the branches were arms, they were all holding hands!! So we had to push our way through trees that were so dense we could not even see Ryan, Jessica, and Bethany who had already made it through and were waiting for us. Finally, we pushed through and after a little more climbing down and around, we made it back to the trail! What a relief!! Looking back up at the mountain we had just climbed down was crazy!! I was shocked at how steep it looked from down below! What fun we had on this little adventure. 

We made it to the trail!

Leaving the trail and eventually climbing/sliding down a steep mountain side and pushing my through trees is not what I had in mind when I suggested we go hiking, nor is it something that an anchor usually does. Anchors use maps and stay on the trail. But that day, I let sails lead me on an adventure that I never would have taken myself, and I'm so glad I did! We had so much fun and the experience of looking back at the mountain we came down was priceless. Realizing that it's ok to haul in the anchor and let the wind take you was a lesson I am thankful I learned. I am looking forward to many adventures that life has in store for me! 

The mountain side we came down... and the devil forest!

Reflecting on this idea of anchors and sails, I think that anchors and sails work best together. Plans are good and being prepared is never a bad thing, but letting loose and going with the flow is also good, and it can lead to experiences and memories that might have been missed if you always stick to the trail.  

Nothing Like a Slap in the Face

Hello Blog world! My name is Lauren and I like to laugh. It's very nice to meet you! I am not entirely sure what I am doing on this little blog, so it will surely be a learn-as-I-go experience. I just noticed the spell check button, and for that I am thankful! I am a terrible speller! What would I do without spell check?? Sometimes I type things into my phone and let the predictive text show me how to spell a word... sad I know.

Ok, enough of the rambling! For my first post I thought I would share a little something that happened yesterday.

My Mom got me a book for Christmas called Jesus Calling: Enjoying Peace in His Presence. It's a little daily devotional book and I read it for the first time yesterday. The majority of the passage was about God being your very-present helper. If you are in line with His will, nothing can stop you. Even though your path will be filled with obstacles, God will never leave your side. Although this is all really good stuff, the following passage is what really spoke to me!

     "Much, much stress results from your wanting to make things happen before their times have come. One of the main ways I (God) assert My sovereignty is in the timing of events. If you want to stay close to Me and do things My way, ask Me to show you the path forward moment by moment. Instead of dashing headlong toward your goal, let Me set the pace. Slow down, and enjoy the journey in My presence."

So yea, that was like a slap in the face!! I so often find myself day dreaming about what my future might hold and thinking I can't wait until I get to the "good part" of my life (aka: married with children). I am wasting the time with God that I have now in this moment by "running ahead" to the plans I have for the future. How much more could He do in my life if I asked Him, "Lord, what do you have planned for me today? How can you use me now? What do you have to show me today?" So from now on I am going to strive to stay focused on each day with my Savior.... I can still day dream a little though... I can't help it! :)